Welcome to my first blog entry! If you’re thinking “Emily, didn’t you say you were going to start writing a monthly blog at the beginning of 2020 and isn’t it now close to 2022?” The answer to both of those questions is yes and yes. Best laid plans and all that… but here we are.
My goal is to write to you at least once a month. Perhaps it will be sharing a big project, giving you sneak peeks of upcoming workshops, more behind the scenes in my studio or maybe just some of my favorite things. I’m keeping it loose and non-committal around here. Sharing what feels right in the moment.
This year has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs for me. I’ve often shared my mental health struggles with you and the pandemic has only brought out the worst. This is why I had to take quite a few months off this year from teaching. Ever since I started my business in 2018, I’ve been in a dead sprint. I’ve only known how to work until I couldn’t go anymore. Working until 4 a.m. and setting my alarm for 5:15 a.m. to resume where I left off. No days off. Scheduling every second of every day. Forgetting to take care of myself and doing the bare minimum in my personal life to be able to manage the demands of my job. Don’t get me wrong. There is at least one moment every single day where I stop and can’t believe that Revery is what it is and all the good that it’s brought to me but this non-balance at this pace just wasn’t and isn’t sustainable.
I fully ran headfirst into a wall and I wasn’t sure I could find it in me to keep this all going. Making flowers no longer brought me joy. I felt paralyzed. I thought maybe I would just ‘Irish goodbye’ to this whole thing. Delete every trace of myself online and float away to a new life someplace else (Could I be more dramatic?!) OR I could take a break.
I chose the latter.
I started taking hour long walks every morning. I started to cook more. Read more. Used social media sparingly. Studied Korean. Gardened. Journaled. Therapy weekly. All the things people tell you to do but I actually did them every single day (I still do!) and I feel like it reset my brain. I’m probably in the most mentally healthy place that I’ve ever been. That’s not to say that I still don’t have dark days but I’ve never felt more capable of utilizing tools and routines to push through the fog. Getting my head right also meant that I found myself at my desk once again. Writing lists of all the flowers I wanted to make. All the flowers I wanted to teach. All the ideas that couldn’t get out a year ago were now filling pages and pages of my notebooks. Sure, everyday presents new challenges but I’ve never felt more ready to figure them out.
So that’s where I was, where I am and hopefully you’ll stick with me to see where I’m going next!